Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
