Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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