I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
