Me too!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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