Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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