just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
