tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize