32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
