I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
