The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
