Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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