She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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