How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
