We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
