Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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