i just wanna soil my oats bro
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
