Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
