I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
