So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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