I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
