Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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