I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
