you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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