dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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