no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
