I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
