love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
