so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize