i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize