i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
