Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
