Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
