Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
