dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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