to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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