one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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