Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
