Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm getting married
To pizza
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
