so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
