You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
