Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
