After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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