Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
