Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology

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(519): View more from Ontario

how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

Fav 7 1037 3642
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(765): View more from Indiana

we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.

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(269): View more from Michigan

He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.

Fav 9 2015 1019
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(+33): View more from France

It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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(850): View more from Florida

I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.

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(972): View more from Texas

It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.

Fav 1 12 36
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(941): View more from Florida

I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.

Fav 0 82 15
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