some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
