I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
