I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
