My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
