i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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