My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
