I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
