he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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