Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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