theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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