I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
