Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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