he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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