She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
